FOR the most wild, yet most homely narrative
which I am about to pen, I neither expect nor solicit belief. Mad indeed would
I be to expect it, in a case where my very senses reject their own evidence.
Yet, mad am I not—and very surely do I not dream. But to-morrow I die, and
to-day I would unburthen my soul. My immediate purpose is to place before the
world, plainly, succinctly, and without comment, a series of mere household
events. In their consequences, these events have terrified—have tortured—have
destroyed me. Yet I will not attempt to expound them. To me, they have
presented little but Horror—to many they will seem less terrible than
barroques. Hereafter, perhaps, some intellect may be found which will reduce my
phantasm to the common-place—some intellect more calm, more logical, and far
less excitable than my own, which will perceive, in the circumstances I detail
with awe, nothing more than an ordinary succession of very natural causes and
effects.
From my infancy I was noted for the docility
and humanity of my disposition. My tenderness of heart was even so conspicuous
as to make me the jest of my companions. I was especially fond of animals, and
was indulged by my parents with a great variety of pets. With these I spent
most of my time, and never was so happy as when feeding and caressing them.
This peculiarity of character grew with my growth, and in my manhood, I derived
from it one of my principal sources of pleasure. To those who have cherished an
affection for a faithful and sagacious dog, I need hardly be at the trouble of
explaining the nature or the intensity of the gratification thus derivable.
There is something in the unselfish and self-sacrificing love of a brute, which
goes directly to the heart of him who has had frequent occasion to test the
paltry friendship and gossamer fidelity of mere Man.
I married early, and was happy to find in my
wife a disposition not uncongenial with my own. Observing my partiality for
domestic pets, she lost no opportunity of procuring those of the most agreeable
kind. We had birds, gold-fish, a fine dog, rabbits, a small monkey, and a cat.
This latter was a remarkably large and
beautiful animal, entirely black, and sagacious to an astonishing degree. In
speaking of his intelligence, my wife, who at heart was not a little tinctured
with superstition, made frequent allusion to the ancient popular notion, which
regarded all black cats as witches in disguise. Not that she was ever serious
upon this point—and I mention the matter at all for no better reason than that
it happens, just now, to be remembered.
Pluto—this was the cat's name—was my favorite
pet and playmate. I alone fed him, and he attended me wherever I went about the
house. It was even with difficulty that I could prevent him from following me
through the streets.
Our friendship lasted, in this manner, for
several years, during which my general temperament and character—through the
instrumentality of the Fiend Intemperance—had (I blush to confess it)
experienced a radical alteration for the worse. I grew, day by day, more moody,
more irritable, more regardless of the feelings of others. I suffered myself to
use intemperate language to my wife. At length, I even offered her personal
violence. My pets, of course, were made to feel the change in my disposition. I
not only neglected, but ill-used them. For Pluto, however, I still retained
sufficient regard to restrain me from maltreating him, as I made no scruple of
maltreating the rabbits, the monkey, or even the dog, when by accident, or
through affection, they came in my way. But my disease grew upon me—for what
disease is like Alcohol!—and at length even Pluto, who was now becoming old,
and consequently somewhat peevish—even Pluto began to experience the effects of
my ill temper.
One night, returning home, much intoxicated,
from one of my haunts about town, I fancied that the cat avoided my presence. I
seized him; when, in his fright at my violence, he inflicted a slight wound
upon my hand with his teeth. The fury of a demon instantly possessed me. I knew
myself no longer. My original soul seemed, at once, to take its flight from my
body and a more than fiendish malevolence, gin-nurtured, thrilled every fibre
of my frame. I took from my waistcoat-pocket a pen-knife, opened it, grasped
the poor beast by the throat, and deliberately cut one of its eyes from the
socket! I blush, I burn, I shudder, while I pen the damnable atrocity.
When reason returned with the morning—when I
had slept off the fumes of the night's debauch—I experienced a sentiment half
of horror, half of remorse, for the crime of which I had been guilty; but it
was, at best, a feeble and equivocal feeling, and the soul remained untouched.
I again plunged into excess, and soon drowned in wine all memory of the deed.
In the meantime the cat slowly recovered. The
socket of the lost eye presented, it is true, a frightful appearance, but he no
longer appeared to suffer any pain. He went about the house as usual, but, as
might be expected, fled in extreme terror at my approach. I had so much of my
old heart left, as to be at first grieved by this evident dislike on the part
of a creature which had once so loved me. But this feeling soon gave place to
irritation. And then came, as if to my final and irrevocable overthrow, the
spirit of PERVERSENESS. Of this spirit philosophy takes no account. Yet I am
not more sure that my soul lives, than I am that perverseness is one of the
primitive impulses of the human heart—one of the indivisible primary faculties,
or sentiments, which give direction to the character of Man. Who has not, a
hundred times, found himself committing a vile or a silly action, for no other
reason than because he knows he should not? Have we not a perpetual
inclination, in the teeth of our best judgment, to violate that which is Law,
merely because we understand it to be such? This spirit of perverseness, I say,
came to my final overthrow. It was this unfathomable longing of the soul to vex
itself—to offer violence to its own nature—to do wrong for the wrong's sake
only—that urged me to continue and finally to consummate the injury I had
inflicted upon the unoffending brute. One morning, in cool blood, I slipped a
noose about its neck and hung it to the limb of a tree;—hung it with the tears
streaming from my eyes, and with the bitterest remorse at my heart;—hung it
because I knew that it had loved me, and because I felt it had given me no
reason of offence;—hung it because I knew that in so doing I was committing a
sin—a deadly sin that would so jeopardize my immortal soul as to place it—if such
a thing wore possible—even beyond the reach of the infinite mercy of the Most
Merciful and Most Terrible God.
On the night of the day on which this cruel
deed was done, I was aroused from sleep by the cry of fire. The curtains of my
bed were in flames. The whole house was blazing. It was with great difficulty
that my wife, a servant, and myself, made our escape from the conflagration.
The destruction was complete. My entire worldly wealth was swallowed up, and I
resigned myself thenceforward to despair.
I am above the weakness of seeking to establish
a sequence of cause and effect, between the disaster and the atrocity. But I am
detailing a chain of facts—and wish not to leave even a possible link
imperfect. On the day succeeding the fire, I visited the ruins. The walls, with
one exception, had fallen in. This exception was found in a compartment wall,
not very thick, which stood about the middle of the house, and against which
had rested the head of my bed. The plastering had here, in great measure, resisted
the action of the fire—a fact which I attributed to its having been recently
spread. About this wall a dense crowd were collected, and many persons seemed
to be examining a particular portion of it with very minute and eager
attention. The words "strange!" "singular!" and other
similar expressions, excited my curiosity. I approached and saw, as if graven
in bas relief upon the white surface, the figure of a gigantic cat. The
impression was given with an accuracy truly marvellous. There was a rope about
the animal's neck.
When I first beheld this apparition—for I could
scarcely regard it as less—my wonder and my terror were extreme. But at length
reflection came to my aid. The cat, I remembered, had been hung in a garden
adjacent to the house. Upon the alarm of fire, this garden had been immediately
filled by the crowd—by some one of whom the animal must have been cut from the
tree and thrown, through an open window, into my chamber. This had probably
been done with the view of arousing me from sleep. The falling of other walls
had compressed the victim of my cruelty into the substance of the
freshly-spread plaster; the lime of which, with the flames, and the ammonia
from the carcass, had then accomplished the portraiture as I saw it.
Although I thus readily accounted to my reason,
if not altogether to my conscience, for the startling fact just detailed, it
did not the less fail to make a deep impression upon my fancy. For months I
could not rid myself of the phantasm of the cat; and, during this period, there
came back into my spirit a half-sentiment that seemed, but was not, remorse. I
went so far as to regret the loss of the animal, and to look about me, among
the vile haunts which I now habitually frequented, for another pet of the same
species, and of somewhat similar appearance, with which to supply its place.
One night as I sat, half stupified, in a den of
more than infamy, my attention was suddenly drawn to some black object,
reposing upon the head of one of the immense hogsheads of Gin, or of Rum, which
constituted the chief furniture of the apartment. I had been looking steadily
at the top of this hogshead for some minutes, and what now caused me surprise
was the fact that I had not sooner perceived the object thereupon. I approached
it, and touched it with my hand. It was a black cat—a very large one—fully as
large as Pluto, and closely resembling him in every respect but one. Pluto had
not a white hair upon any portion of his body; but this cat had a large,
although indefinite splotch of white, covering nearly the whole region of the
breast. Upon my touching him, he immediately arose, purred loudly, rubbed
against my hand, and appeared delighted with my notice. This, then, was the
very creature of which I was in search. I at once offered to purchase it of the
landlord; but this person made no claim to it—knew nothing of it—had never seen
it before.
I continued my caresses, and, when I prepared
to go home, the animal evinced a disposition to accompany me. I permitted it to
do so; occasionally stooping and patting it as I proceeded. When it reached the
house it domesticated itself at once, and became immediately a great favorite
with my wife.
For my own part, I soon found a dislike to it
arising within me. This was just the reverse of what I had anticipated; but—I
know not how or why it was—its evident fondness for myself rather disgusted and
annoyed. By slow degrees, these feelings of disgust and annoyance rose into the
bitterness of hatred. I avoided the creature; a certain sense of shame, and the
remembrance of my former deed of cruelty, preventing me from physically abusing
it. I did not, for some weeks, strike, or otherwise violently ill use it; but
gradually—very gradually—I came to look upon it with unutterable loathing, and
to flee silently from its odious presence, as from the breath of a pestilence.
What added, no doubt, to my hatred of the
beast, was the discovery, on the morning after I brought it home, that, like
Pluto, it also had been deprived of one of its eyes. This circumstance,
however, only endeared it to my wife, who, as I have already said, possessed,
in a high degree, that humanity of feeling which had once been my
distinguishing trait, and the source of many of my simplest and purest
pleasures.
With my aversion to this cat, however, its partiality
for myself seemed to increase. It followed my footsteps with a pertinacity
which it would be difficult to make the reader comprehend. Whenever I sat, it
would crouch beneath my chair, or spring upon my knees, covering me with its
loathsome caresses. If I arose to walk it would get between my feet and thus
nearly throw me down, or, fastening its long and sharp claws in my dress,
clamber, in this manner, to my breast. At such times, although I longed to
destroy it with a blow, I was yet withheld from so doing, partly by a memory of
my former crime, but chiefly—let me confess it at once—by absolute dread of the
beast.
This dread was not exactly a dread of physical
evil—and yet I should be at a loss how otherwise to define it. I am almost
ashamed to own—yes, even in this felon's cell, I am almost ashamed to own—that
the terror and horror with which the animal inspired me, had been heightened by
one of the merest chimaeras it would be possible to conceive. My wife had
called my attention, more than once, to the character of the mark of white
hair, of which I have spoken, and which constituted the sole visible difference
between the strange beast and the one I had destroyed. The reader will remember
that this mark, although large, had been originally very indefinite; but, by
slow degrees—degrees nearly imperceptible, and which for a long time my Reason
struggled to reject as fanciful—it had, at length, assumed a rigorous
distinctness of outline. It was now the representation of an object that I
shudder to name—and for this, above all, I loathed, and dreaded, and would have
rid myself of the monster had I dared—it was now, I say, the image of a
hideous—of a ghastly thing—of the GALLOWS!—oh, mournful and terrible engine of
Horror and of Crime—of Agony and of Death!
And now was I indeed wretched beyond the
wretchedness of mere Humanity. And a brute beast —whose fellow I had
contemptuously destroyed—a brute beast to work out for me—for me a man,
fashioned in the image of the High God—so much of insufferable wo! Alas!
neither by day nor by night knew I the blessing of Rest any more! During the
former the creature left me no moment alone; and, in the latter, I started,
hourly, from dreams of unutterable fear, to find the hot breath of the thing
upon my face, and its vast weight—an incarnate Night-Mare that I had no power
to shake off—incumbent eternally upon my heart!
Beneath the pressure of torments such as these,
the feeble remnant of the good within me succumbed. Evil thoughts became my
sole intimates—the darkest and most evil of thoughts. The moodiness of my usual
temper increased to hatred of all things and of all mankind; while, from the
sudden, frequent, and ungovernable outbursts of a fury to which I now blindly
abandoned myself, my uncomplaining wife, alas! was the most usual and the most
patient of sufferers.
One day she accompanied me, upon some household
errand, into the cellar of the old building which our poverty compelled us to
inhabit. The cat followed me down the steep stairs, and, nearly throwing me
headlong, exasperated me to madness. Uplifting an axe, and forgetting, in my
wrath, the childish dread which had hitherto stayed my hand, I aimed a blow at
the animal which, of course, would have proved instantly fatal had it descended
as I wished. But this blow was arrested by the hand of my wife. Goaded, by the
interference, into a rage more than demoniacal, I withdrew my arm from her
grasp and buried the axe in her brain. She fell dead upon the spot, without a
groan.
This hideous murder accomplished, I set myself
forthwith, and with entire deliberation, to the task of concealing the body. I
knew that I could not remove it from the house, either by day or by night,
without the risk of being observed by the neighbors. Many projects entered my
mind. At one period I thought of cutting the corpse into minute fragments, and
destroying them by fire. At another, I resolved to dig a grave for it in the
floor of the cellar. Again, I deliberated about casting it in the well in the
yard—about packing it in a box, as if merchandize, with the usual arrangements,
and so getting a porter to take it from the house. Finally I hit upon what I
considered a far better expedient than either of these. I determined to wall it
up in the cellar—as the monks of the middle ages are recorded to have walled up
their victims.
For a purpose such as this the cellar was well
adapted. Its walls were loosely constructed, and had lately been plastered
throughout with a rough plaster, which the dampness of the atmosphere had
prevented from hardening. Moreover, in one of the walls was a projection,
caused by a false chimney, or fireplace, that had been filled up, and made to
resemble the red of the cellar. I made no doubt that I could readily displace
the bricks at this point, insert the corpse, and wall the whole up as before,
so that no eye could detect any thing suspicious. And in this calculation I was
not deceived. By means of a crow-bar I easily dislodged the bricks, and, having
carefully deposited the body against the inner wall, I propped it in that
position, while, with little trouble, I re-laid the whole structure as it
originally stood. Having procured mortar, sand, and hair, with every possible
precaution, I prepared a plaster which could not be distinguished from the old,
and with this I very carefully went over the new brickwork. When I had
finished, I felt satisfied that all was right. The wall did not present the
slightest appearance of having been disturbed. The rubbish on the floor was
picked up with the minutest care. I looked around triumphantly, and said to
myself—"Here at least, then, my labor has not been in vain."
My next step was to look for the beast which
had been the cause of so much wretchedness; for I had, at length, firmly
resolved to put it to death. Had I been able to meet with it, at the moment,
there could have been no doubt of its fate; but it appeared that the crafty animal
had been alarmed at the violence of my previous anger, and forebore to present
itself in my present mood. It is impossible to describe, or to imagine, the
deep, the blissful sense of relief which the absence of the detested creature
occasioned in my bosom. It did not make its appearance during the night—and
thus for one night at least, since its introduction into the house, I soundly
and tranquilly slept; aye, slept even with the burden of murder upon my soul!
The second and the third day passed, and still
my tormentor came not. Once again I breathed as a freeman. The monster, in
terror, had fled the premises forever! I should behold it no more! My happiness
was supreme! The guilt of my dark deed disturbed me but little. Some few
inquiries had been made, but these had been readily answered. Even a search had
been instituted—but of course nothing was to be discovered. I looked upon my
future felicity as secured.
Upon the fourth day of the assassination, a
party of the police came, very unexpectedly, into the house, and proceeded
again to make rigorous investigation of the premises. Secure, however, in the
inscrutability of my place of concealment, I felt no embarrassment whatever.
The officers bade me accompany them in their search. They left no nook or corner
unexplored. At length, for the third or fourth time, they descended into the
cellar. I quivered not in a muscle. My heart beat calmly as that of one who
slumbers in innocence. I walked the cellar from end to end. I folded my arms
upon my bosom, and roamed easily to and fro. The police were thoroughly
satisfied and prepared to depart. The glee at my heart was too strong to be
restrained. I burned to say if but one word, by way of triumph, and to render
doubly sure their assurance of my guiltlessness.
"Gentlemen," I said at last, as the
party ascended the steps, "I delight to have allayed your suspicions. I
wish you all health, and a little more courtesy. By the bye, gentlemen,
this—this is a very well constructed house." [In the rabid desire to say
something easily, I scarcely knew what I uttered at all.]—"I may say an
excellently well constructed house. These walls—are you going, gentlemen?—these
walls are solidly put together;" and here, through the mere phrenzy of
bravado, I rapped heavily, with a cane which I held in my hand, upon that very
portion of the brick-work behind which stood the corpse of the wife of my
bosom.
But may God shield and deliver me from the
fangs of the Arch-Fiend! No sooner had the reverberation of my blows sunk into
silence, than I was answered by a voice from within the tomb!—by a cry, at
first muffled and broken, like the sobbing of a child, and then quickly
swelling into one long, loud, and continuous scream, utterly anomalous and
inhuman—a howl—a wailing shriek, half of horror and half of triumph, such as
might have arisen only out of hell, conjointly from the throats of the dammed
in their agony and of the demons that exult in the damnation.
Of my own thoughts it is folly to speak.
Swooning, I staggered to the opposite wall. For one instant the party upon the
stairs remained motionless, through extremity of terror and of awe. In the
next, a dozen stout arms were toiling at the wall. It fell bodily. The corpse,
already greatly decayed and clotted with gore, stood erect before the eyes of
the spectators. Upon its head, with red extended mouth and solitary eye of
fire, sat the hideous beast whose craft had seduced me into murder, and whose
informing voice had consigned me to the hangman. I had walled the monster up
within the tomb!